Can we talk about Money Etiquette!

Money etiquette is an essential conversation because a lack of it can lead to misunderstandings and broken relationships. Growing up, my mother had strict rules about money. She’d give us a stern look if we asked visitors for money or anything they had. These side eyes were more effective than any punishment. I appreciate her lessons about respecting money because they play as a foundation to how l see and respect money.

Self-Respect

In 2018, I went to town in Zvishavane to withdraw $200. On my way back, some scammers targeted me. They dropped a pile of money with a large figure written on top. A man suggested we split the money since we both saw it. Due to my upbringing, I knew money doesn’t come from nowhere. That lesson saved me from losing my $200.

I remember another time in primary school when I saw $10 on the road and didn’t pick it up. Reflecting on these incidents, I’m proud of my restraint. It taught me that nothing is free and the love of money can lead to trouble. Having self-respect means being content with who you are and understanding that not everything in life is for free.

For women, self-respect in financial matters is crucial. Never depend entirely on a man for money. While it's okay for a husband to take care of you, contributing to the household finances is equally important. I’ve seen women struggle after losing their husbands because they depended solely on them. Doing something that brings in money teaches you to manage finances better and prepares you for unexpected situations.

Respect for Others' Money

Respecting others' money is crucial and reflects on your character and the strength of your relationships. Here are some key points to consider:

1. Repay Borrowed Money as Agreed. When you borrow money, always stick to the repayment terms you agreed upon. It’s important to honor your commitments. Failing to do so not only damages your credibility but may also ruin your relationships. If you encounter difficulties repaying on time, communicate openly with the lender. Most people appreciate honesty and may be willing to work out a new arrangement.

2. Avoid Constantly Asking for Money. Refrain from asking for money every time you meet someone. It's important to build relationships that are not solely based on financial transactions. When you continuously ask for money, it can make the other person feel like an ATM, which strains the relationship. Instead, focus on creating meaningful connections and only seek financial help when absolutely necessary.

3. Keep Financial Conversations Appropriate. If you have a lot of money, avoid discussing your financial needs or how much money you’re looking for outside of appropriate contexts, such as business meetings or financial planning sessions. Constantly talking about money, especially in a non-professional setting, can make others uncomfortable and can be seen as boastful or inconsiderate.

4. Visit With a Gesture. When visiting someone, try to bring something, even if it’s small. It’s a thoughtful gesture that shows you appreciate their hospitality. People have budgets and financial challenges too, so bringing a small gift can help lighten their load. It also demonstrates respect and consideration for their situation.

5. Be Transparent About Your Financial Situation. If you're planning activities with friends that require financial contributions, be open and honest about your financial situation. This transparency helps avoid any misunderstandings or discomfort when it comes time to pay. It ensures that everyone is on the same page and can contribute fairly.

6. Avoid Making Assumptions About Others' Income. Never assume someone makes a lot of money and speak to them accordingly. People’s financial situations can be very different from what they appear. By respecting their financial circumstances, you show empathy and consideration. Assuming someone is wealthy and therefore can easily give or spend money can add unnecessary pressure on them.

7. Plan Group Expenses in Advance. When planning trips or outings with friends or family, discuss how the expenses will be split ahead of time. Agree on how to handle any unforeseen costs. This planning helps avoid any awkwardness or financial strain during the event and ensures everyone can enjoy the experience without worrying about money.

8. Loan What You Can Afford to Lose. When loaning money to friends or family, only lend what you can afford to lose. It's essential to set boundaries to protect your financial well-being. If they are unable to repay, it won't cause you significant hardship. This approach also helps maintain a positive relationship, as there is less pressure on the borrower.

9. Do Not Judge Debt. Avoid judging people for having debt. Understand that everyone’s financial journey is different, and debt can be a part of it. If you are knowledgeable about finances and someone shares their debt situation with you, offer constructive advice or support rather than criticism.

10. Discuss Money in Relationships. When dating someone, have conversations about money early on. Understanding your partner’s financial views and habits is crucial as money is a common source of conflict in marriages. These discussions help build a solid foundation and ensure both partners are on the same page financially.

11. Share Your Financial Triggers. We all have different backgrounds and experiences with money that can influence our emotions and behaviors. It’s important to talk about these triggers with close ones to prevent misunderstandings. By being open about your financial triggers, you can foster a more supportive and understanding environment.

Understanding and practicing money etiquette is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships and ensuring personal financial stability. Respecting both your money and others' is a fundamental aspect that can prevent misunderstandings and build stronger bonds. Remember, financial well-being starts with self-respect and responsible management of resources. By applying these principles, you can navigate financial challenges more effectively and create a more secure future.

Let's strive to make informed decisions, respect the value of money, and be considerate of others' financial situations. In doing so, we not only improve our own lives but also contribute positively to our communities.

With love, Rutendo Fortunate