Navigating My Mixed Feelings About Money: A Personal Reflection

Money is one of those topics that always seems to spark mixed emotions. For me, it’s empowering, yet stressful; freeing, yet anxiety-inducing. I feel that my relationship with money is full of potential and excitement as I build toward future goals. However, the weight of life’s financial demands — from basic needs to supporting loved ones — brings a unique stress that only money can seem to alleviate.

Personal Finances: Balancing Freedom and Worry

Right now, my biggest financial concern is building a strong enough foundation to ensure I’m not caught off-guard by unexpected events. My goal is to have enough saved in an emergency fund to protect against anything that might happen to me, my partner, or even the broader economy. Alongside this, I want to invest thoughtfully to secure a future where financial stress doesn’t feel so ever-present.

What I value most about money is peace of mind — knowing that my needs and wants, and those of my loved ones, are covered. But on the other side of this security is the fear of what life would look like if it were all gone. There’s always a sense that I need to do more, save more, and prepare more to keep these fears at bay.

If I had to describe my approach to money, I’d say that I’m not afraid to spend on what I truly need, and I follow my financial plans with devotion when I set them. But there are times when I’d like to balance things better — especially with an eye on managing my budget to include both my needs and those of my family (also known as “black tax”). It’s a priority for me to plan for that, without sacrificing my own financial health.

Company Finances: A Professional Perspective

Working in finance shapes my perspective on money on a daily basis. My role constantly reminds me of the importance of smart spending, saving, and investing — not just for my employer but in my personal life as well. Despite that influence, I don’t find myself worrying about my company’s financial health nearly as much as my own. However, I would like to see my earnings increase in the coming years, which drives me to keep refining my skills to add more value.

Country Context: Zimbabwe and South Africa

Living between Zimbabwe and South Africa has made me very aware of how the economic environment shapes our behavior with money. Back home in Zimbabwe, the frequent currency changes and rapid devaluation have taught me to spend quickly, buying what I need at once to avoid loss. Here in South Africa, I feel a sense of security in just leaving my money in the bank without worrying as much about its value plummeting overnight.

In Zimbabwe, the black market has a louder voice than official exchanges, making it a priority to spend wisely before money loses its worth. By contrast, South Africa offers more financial stability — not without its challenges, but at least with fewer surprises. In both cases, I try to adapt and be aware of the policies and trends that impact how and when I use my money.

Conversations with Myself About Money

When I sit down and have an honest conversation with myself about money, I often feel I could be doing better. Sometimes, this brings up feelings of anxiety, but it also fuels a determination to make smarter choices. Over the years, I’ve developed routines to help manage my finances more intentionally. I rely on budgeting, planning, and sometimes denying myself certain “wants” to stay on track.

During setbacks, I look for ways to improve and tell myself that I can always do better. These conversations remind me to look for solutions, rather than letting myself feel defeated. Financial setbacks can feel personal, but I’ve learned to approach them as learning experiences rather than failures.

The Power of Knowing Your Financial Feelings

One of the biggest benefits of understanding my own feelings about money has been increased self-awareness. I’m more in tune with my habits, and this awareness has improved my relationships with my partner, family, and friends. Being honest with myself about my goals, needs, and fears has not only led to better financial decisions but has also helped me maintain healthier relationships with those closest to me.

If I were to give advice to anyone just beginning to explore their own relationship with money, I’d say this: Be kind and honest with yourself. Money is complicated and deeply personal, but understanding your feelings about it can help you live more intentionally, make better choices, and find peace in whatever financial situation you’re in.